If I remember correctly

I am here because X, Y and Z happened. Maybe not in the regular extent or conventional order, but they did, and that’s what led me here; to this place, living as the person I am.

X, Y and Z are events of the personal alphabet of my life. Things I’ve said or done that have moved me forward, developed as a person or maybe just kept me alive. Unemotional facts. Unarguable truths.

When thinking and planning the future, I feel like we are urged to think about it with an optimistic attitude. Envisioning good, often more better circumstances than the present. Development. Positive change.

But if I can so easily decide my attitude on how i’m thinking about my future, can I also change the way I look at my past? Is it really our attitude on the present and the times ahead that makes us positive people, or the way we look at our personal set of X, Y and Z and how we got to where we are now?

I’m home at the moment, had my usual search through old stuff and happened to find my old diaries. A collection of books full of pain and frustration. Times of battles. Some ups, but mainly downs. Maybe it is just because it’s in moments of sorrow and frustration that we take the pen in the hand and verbalize things instead of punching walls (or people)? But what ever the reason, point is, even I could keep looking at those events and some people in my past with negative feelings. But what’s the point?

If people struggle to keep even their own memories in right places and order, why can’t I just help my poor mind and color things up a little? Not come up with new letters, but maybe just change the way of pronunciation or chosen set of letters a little? Why can’t I become a truly good marketer and present my own past in a way that would have the ingredients to become a best-selling book or hollywood movie? It’s not like anyone would even notice, but rather, I could just feel a bit better and more thankful about myself.

A little spiced-up past for a more tasty future? I think this will become my new survival strategy.

 

/m

 

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