Some highly scientific conclusions about the effects of Paleo

I’ve been on a paleolithic (poor-student-Paleo-version, though) for a month and ten days now. In other words: I’ve completed my Paleo September, and beyond! The plan was to write about my progress a bit more, but what happened? LIFE happened and again it totally messed up my plans! Good thing is though, I’ve decided to continue living as-Paleo-as-possible, so I’ll be able to make up for my lack of social media communication as I go on with life…

Of course i failed one and even another time and had to make some slightly annoying compromises a couple of times, but all in all – success. I lost a couple of kilos (could have maybe lost more, if i hadn’t eaten so much fruit, ooops…) But me being able to give up milk and grain products COMPLETELY is a thing i feel like i should get a reward for!

If you ever were to try out Paleo, here are some of the things you might discover after starting the process:

1. You’ll annoy your friends and family (especially your mother) with your new dietary restrictions. And yes, they will not understand. They will ask you (at least a million times) the question “but what will you be able to eat then?”. And no matter how well you explain it, they won’t understand. Is there an any more simple answer than “anything a caveman would have been able to eat”. This answer is simply never enough. They are worried your diet is not tasty or versatile enough. They won’t understand it’s the most tasty and colorful diet you’ll ever be on. And they’ll get even more worried, when they realize that….

2. You’ll start feeling so good following this lifestyle, that you don’t want to go back to the old, common way of living anymore. But don’t worry, they’ll get over the shock at some point. If you do Paleo really well, you might even get others inspired to try it out by letting them observe the effects it has on you.

3. You’ll feel proud about the content of your shopping cart at the grocery store. All those fellow consumers are losers with their shopping trolleys full of Type 2 diabetes, skin problems, bloating and Hypertension (among other things) – MUAHAHA, you think, almost bursting out in evil-sounding laughter…

4. You’ll skip desert at celebrations and family gatherings by own choice and feel awesome about it.

This happened to me at a wedding. I mean, that’s basically what weddings are for, right? For people to come there to eat. The highlight of the party is not the couple cutting the cake together – NO – it’s you being able to go get a piece of the cake that was just cut (along with other sugary goodness, of course). Well, not this time. I stayed strong even though they served (in addition to other sweets) heart-shaped ginger bread thingies that were decorated to look like a butt with thongs on.

5. You’ll forget what milk tastes like. And yoghurt. And bread. And pastry, pizza, pasta, muffins, cakes, cookies, smoothies… Even the taste and feel of that porridge you’ve had for breakfast for all of your life. (About time to try out something new anyway, if that’s the case!)

After about a week (or in some cases two weeks) the memory of all of those things you used to grave is gone and it becomes so much easier to resist any kind of temptation. Yes, even milk chocolate. That Swizz or Belgian one, yes… you’ll forget what it tastes like.

After that the challenge for you will be to make yourself understand that you won’t have any need to refresh your memory (because if you do, it will be downhill from there…) at any point in the future.

6. Saying ‘no’ to the cooking of that one, new, special person will make you bend on the rules of your diet a little bit and that’s why you might cheat one or two times…. but just to give a good impression, right? Be careful though, it must be a reeeally special one, if you do this….

7. You’ll start to enjoy putting tight jeans on. Or tight dresses. Blouses, skirts… any kind of clothing. Actually, if you do Paleo really well, you might start to enjoy wearing no clothing at all, because you have nothing to hide anymore and you just feel so good about yourself. Just don’t let it get to your head.

8. You will at some point forget that eating chicken salad or steak for breakfast is not exactly normal.

9. Fat becomes a friend. It becomes something that’s on your plate, not so much in store inside your body anymore. But still people will tell you that eating fat makes you fat. But NO! You just feel sad and sorry for those people on a low fat diet…

10. You might try out disgustingly tasting things like liver. Seriously, no wonder that stuff is cheap. Only eatable in Pâté form, in my opinion. If you are really hard core, you might find yourself doing disgusting things like eating meat raw. Just make sure you’re not trying that on chicken…

11. You might start dreaming about owning your own farm. If you do Paleo really well, you might even start dreaming about owning your own cave.

The Paleo diet is not an easy one and it requires quite a lot of planning and dedication. But still, i would say, doing Paleo in Helsinki, Finland has been a fairly easy job. But how about doing Paleo when living in a small village in Romania? That will be stage 2 in my going Paleo challenge.

I’ll leave my home country, friends and family behind in about a week and move a little closer to my dear blog-keeper friend Julia. We will be colleagues in real life again soon. I can’t wait!

From now on I’ll try to keep you Paleo-posted a bit better! 😉

 

Until next time,

/miia

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