Julia is away, celebrating her one year of marriage with wonderful Nige.
Congratulations, you two!
Meanwhile I’m here, only dreaming of my future husband and all the crazy ways I can make him go mental and look for happiness in beer, TV and overly large portions of various comfort foods.
I know I would make a really good wife, though. Even just a stay-at-home mom.
A sustaining one, and following sustainable values in everything, of course!
I’ll share my wisdom with you in pictures, so you can become as fabulous as I know I will!
First of all, get rid of all of your bad behaviour. Bad habits – you should have none. If you want to get married, you need to be quiet and let your man talk and let him tell you what to do. To make things as easy as possible, stop thinking at once if you can and focus on painting your nails.
Always be ready to have guests over for tea….
…even if you have just moved and have no kitchen table.
There is no excuse to not look and give your best at all times.
And since you’ll be a wife supporting sustainable values, you should be wearing ethical clothing like the Globe Hope dress I am wearing. It’s made from an old curtain, which is convenient, since that’s where you’ll be quietly hiding when the man has his friends over for smoking cigars and drinking whiskey.
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t know how to use all those complicated household equipment right away…
… You’ll eventually work out the actual purpose…
…and in a couple of years you’ll be happily multitasking!
Always wear high heels. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the pain once your bones are completely ruined. Remember: always do everything to please the eye of the man!
Never let your man see you without makeup. It is your duty as a woman to wake up at least 45 minutes before him to paint on your face and look your best while preparing his breakfast.
Don’t be scared of that lipstick. But remember, it needs to be looking flawless 24/7. Make sure you are using one that is an environmentally friendly brand.. like mine from We Care Icon.
And don’t worry about smudging it… During the day you will only be drinking Vitamin water anyway – and that with a straw!
Make sure your hair stays in tact.
And as the cherry on top of the cake, always remember earrings. Give away your pearls to your granny, and get unique pieces of sustainable fashion like these ones I have (Globe Hope, made from old zippers).
These are the tips I will use to make my future husband unhappy.
Whatever happens, always remember this: “whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead” – HIMYM