тоска yesterday. тоска today. Go away, тоска!

A dear friend of mine once described this feeling to me as “тоска” (= toská). It’s a Russian word that can be translated to the following in English: yearning, anguish, melancholy, longing for, wistfulness, ennui and depression. (Using Google translate to do this, so please correct me, if i’m wrong)

If you copy/paste “тоска” to Google Images, you’ll get a better idea of what i mean (exclude the pictures of naked people that might show up, though).

The more you see of the world, the hungrier you get for new adventures. And the more you travel and meet people from all over the globe, the more you are constantly missing a place or a face or the sound of someone’s voice. тоска is constantly present in my mind whenever i’m not traveling. It’s a gift and a curse. тоска is the driving force to never stop moving and exploring but it’s also the reason for never being able to be completely content of where you are at the moment.

I love the feeling you get at an airport – the thrill, the excitement, the feeling of not being completely in control of what’s going to happen next. Being driven up in the air in a human-designed creation and having to hand over your life to a group of aviation professionals. Getting a new perspective to look at the world, enjoying the fact that from up there everything on earth looks so small. (The only thing that can ruin this joyful feeling is having to sit next to someone over-sized, smelly and snoring.)

Two years ago, pretty much around this time of the year, i was greeted by Dubai. Oh – all those wonderful people i met in that shallow, over-polished and touristic city. Oh – experiencing a completely new culture. Oooh – sun and heat.

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I wish i could go there. I wish i could go somewhere.

/miia

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